How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

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Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

  • قشعريره

    light throw cloudslight throw clouds5 मिनट पहले
  • beautiful!

    AHSAN ALAMAHSAN ALAM39 मिनट पहले
  • Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

    Diane GyemiDiane Gyemiघंटे पहले
  • Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

    southlondon86southlondon862 घंटे पहले
  • Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

  • I sent dis to my mom and my pops lmao hopefully dey don’t take it personally 😂😂

    Angel GAngel G3 घंटे पहले
  • “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.” - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person). Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

    huỳnh nguyễnhuỳnh nguyễn6 घंटे पहले
  • Kisss

    Man ThemMan Them9 घंटे पहले
  • Michael Jordan disagrees btw

    Charles LalawiganCharles Lalawigan9 घंटे पहले
  • Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

    J BJ B9 घंटे पहले
  • Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

    James CoolJames Cool10 घंटे पहले
  • What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

    Nali ShieldNali Shield11 घंटे पहले
  • Awwwwww loved it.

    Floyd John BarbinFloyd John Barbin11 घंटे पहले
  • My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

    Hasitha MapalagamaHasitha Mapalagama12 घंटे पहले
  • 4:46 "It's our ego." It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

    borgoat12borgoat1216 घंटे पहले
  • Look up this psychological-abuse term: GASLIGHTING. There are some people who do this to everyone around them, and build up a kind of gang-mentality against "others" they focus too much on. When you realize this kind of abuse has been used on you, the abuser's attempts to control, blame, or judge you becomes obvious. As Yahusha said, "If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." [Yahukanon 8:31-32]

    Lew WhiteLew Whiteदिन पहले
  • bro that ending spoke absolute volumes.just wow

    im just saucyim just saucyदिन पहले
  • I have hard time re- shifting my thinking but hopefully after this talk I remember “ it’s not about me “ and it’s EGO .. thanks for this presentation 🙏🏽

    Mashaer AlkhatrawiMashaer Alkhatrawiदिन पहले
  • Tysm! No one would ever teach me this.

    A DA Dदिन पहले
  • Well, to be honest, it's often more useful to be right than happy... And you can be mindlessly happy just cheating yourself... but these are cheap tricks to me, I don't buy it. Of course it is advisable not to ponder too much on our failures, let alone get depressed by them... But it shouldn't come at the cost of blindfolding yourself to reality... And a football referee should know about it damn well. Am I to think they don't strive to be professional, just seek an occasion to practise happiness no matter what players and spectators see? 😎

    Micelius BeverusMicelius Beverusदिन पहले
  • Feeling relaxed after hearing it.🙂

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    Asad MarjiAsad Marjiदिन पहले
  • Thank you for this presentation. I admire your public speaking abilities and the topic was excellent too. I needed to hear what you said. Being the scapegoat in my family, I am sensitive to perceived slight or criticism, even after years of therapy. You gave me a new way of responding to my ego when it is poked. Thanks again.

    Wendy GillettWendy Gillettदिन पहले
  • Do shrooms. Just once..that's all it takes

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    김김태경김김태경दिन पहले
  • great speech but I like how whenever he asked a question to the audience there was just silence

    Zachary ThomasZachary Thomasदिन पहले
  • Thank you for this. I needed it.

    Sal CibellaSal Cibella2 दिन पहले
  • Michael Jordan has left the chat

    Ivan GeeIvan Gee2 दिन पहले
  • and I took that personally

    Trexy CrocsTrexy Crocs2 दिन पहले
  • One of the best Tedx Talk I've seen.

    Simone LombardoSimone Lombardo2 दिन पहले
  • I am here because I want to change myself.

    Hazel AggarwalHazel Aggarwal2 दिन पहले
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    Gracie JohnstonGracie Johnston2 दिन पहले
  • "Don't take it personally" is one of the agreement on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. That book was a big help.

    Mr. Kent BigmountainMr. Kent Bigmountain2 दिन पहले
    • What book is it?

      Maureen Khimmery B. SupanMaureen Khimmery B. Supan9 घंटे पहले
  • Funny how this just came along exactly when I needed it...

    Benjamin M.Benjamin M.2 दिन पहले
    • Me too! I’m scared that my friend is moving on from me ( he got a girlfriend, we barely talk anymore and when we do we talk about her) and last night I stayed up thinking about what I’ve done wrong. I can be petty, I’m hotheaded, I don’t share his hobbies etc. this is exactly what I needed to hear. ITS NOT ABOUT ME!

      Ruby HigsonRuby Higsonदिन पहले
  • Michael Jordan should watch this

    Bartek LicheńskiBartek Licheński2 दिन पहले

    sybille duboissybille dubois2 दिन पहले
  • Thankfully Michael Jordan did not see this.

    Vidhata ReturnVidhata Return2 दिन पहले
  • Really deep and meaningful

    Stewart NellStewart Nell2 दिन पहले
  • When You focus on the intention of the other person, There's no need to take it personally..... This dude is a legend

    Zabi SabooriZabi Saboori2 दिन पहले
  • Show this to Michael Jordan

    MartijnMartijn3 दिन पहले
  • im speechless this was amazing!!

    Akbar AliAkbar Ali3 दिन पहले
  • Is there even sitting someone in front of him? So silent damn

    Seyfo03Seyfo033 दिन पहले
  • 16:13 while taking out his 20 Euros note, he accidentally dropped a coin. I don't know if he noticed or not but I wanted to point it out.

    Ajey NagerAjey Nager3 दिन पहले
  • Amazing man good job. Thanks a lot.

    shubhank sharmashubhank sharma3 दिन पहले
  • i think its in my dna to not take things seriously and make horrible comedy out of it and i feel personally attacked by that.

    VortexVortex3 दिन पहले
  • easier said than done.

    Junaidi IsmailJunaidi Ismail3 दिन पहले
  • Thanks

    Harman KaurHarman Kaur3 दिन पहले
  • Amazing talk! Awesome conclusion! Lots of respect!

    Nishant RainaNishant Raina3 दिन पहले
  • His teaching relates to my thinking. This is helping a chang in my thinking ,and is helping my high blood pressure.

    Jessica grayJessica gray3 दिन पहले
  • This is so true for me i need to change n be more happy n chill in this sense

    💣10mrbomber🚀💣10mrbomber🚀4 दिन पहले
  • I remember there was a class in my middle school that was similar to this I think was named 'Character development.' Just putting it out there if anyone wants to learn more about topics like these.

    Lina ALina A4 दिन पहले
  • Majestic and breathtaking. You are so right about being fortunate to live beneath dark skies. Millions around the globe are, sadly, cut off rom the universe in a very real way. This was your finest opening, Richard! That Sony does great things with video at night. Maybe you can now better capture a light painting session so we can see your timings and technique?

    Chris MosnerChris Mosner4 दिन पहले
  • Loved the last 20euros example

    Shalini JainShalini Jain4 दिन पहले
  • We need a Tedx Talks School 😊

    Deriv Trading CommunityDeriv Trading Community4 दिन पहले
  • As a performer, I too wondered why the audience would be quite when I would perform on stage. Like many people here are wondering the same question about this audience. One day I asked a seasoned performer if he knew why the audience wasn’t clapping or being more vocal... he told me that the when a performance is so good, the audience is captivated by the presentation that they don’t think to clap or show emotion. It all makes sense because at the end of every show we would get a standing ovation. Crazy how that works. And in the theater world being quite is good etiquette as well. You literally have to tell the audience they can clap and make noise.

    Nets 4 ChangeNets 4 Change4 दिन पहले
  • Epic ending

    Diegomolinams98Diegomolinams984 दिन पहले
  • Yesterday someone asked me if I was insecure about my body and I lied to them and told them no I love my body. It definitely needs some work but I love it nonetheless because it is mine and mine only... I felt attacked by the mere question that I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Maybe the person was raising this seeing how I'm always so reserved and unconfident ... Or it is about me... The fact that it is hard to look at myself in the mirror, take pictures and post them, wear fashionable clothes like girls my age or even walk down the street without my arms crossed and head pointed at the ground... But you see, these are things you can't tell people... As a girl who grew up without a mother around... there are things that affect the way you view yourself... But this guy brings an interesting idea to my head. It is so simple but hardly ever practiced. I'm not in need of sympathy, I just wanted to share my piece of story and tell you to stay strong.

    Claire JonesClaire Jones4 दिन पहले
  • how handsome of a man. thanks for the talk.

    Zaria LaneZaria Lane4 दिन पहले
  • Bars

    Jade DadizJade Dadiz4 दिन पहले

    Tara HenryTara Henry4 दिन पहले
  • Good stuff✌️

    Nicolas ShalatyNicolas Shalaty4 दिन पहले
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    Mauri NicolasMauri Nicolas5 दिन पहले
  • Thank you

    Imagine that ProductionsImagine that Productions5 दिन पहले
  • People on the internet especially twitch, twitter, reddit should see this and take his advice. I am fcking tired of banning words on forums and see whining people on meme subreddits that they got offended by something that's not offensive in any way.

    Bence SárköziBence Sárközi5 दिन पहले
  • I am just here to see the other side of the story

    chaitanya velamalachaitanya velamala5 दिन पहले
  • this is some polyanna naive kind of wishy washy thiinking and quite harming. you can take this personally

    reganmcneilonacidreganmcneilonacid5 दिन पहले
  • Just love it, thank you.

    Zakir ChowdhoryZakir Chowdhory5 दिन पहले
  • What if he shits on the 20EUR - who wants it then?:)

    ImmortalImmortal5 दिन पहले
  • OMG. The ending was GOLD. A huge thank you Frederick for this much-needed pep talk.

    M MM M5 दिन पहले
  • Hi Frederik, thanks very much!

    Federico TarroniFederico Tarroni5 दिन पहले
  • Yang milih allah like yg Mili dajal hirawkan 1:39.........m.

    Lelan TanphucLelan Tanphuc5 दिन पहले
  • Wow sir that was really really helpful❤️❤️

    apoorva mahajanapoorva mahajan5 दिन पहले
  • I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Brian TannerBrian Tanner5 दिन पहले
    • @Create With Darling jj

      ChristinaChristina19 घंटे पहले
    • Kk

      ChristinaChristina19 घंटे पहले
    • Not true because if ppl bullie then well you're fudged

      Funky HumanFunky Human20 घंटे पहले
    • Me too 😭

      Create With DarlingCreate With Darlingदिन पहले
    • So wholesome 😭

      Lo MedLo Med3 दिन पहले
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    Do Ngoc QuynhDo Ngoc Quynh5 दिन पहले
  • I was really glad that i'd stumbled on this video and this was my first time that I watched ted talk that I really finished it. At the end of the video it was a very thought-provoking metephor. I even smiled at the end of the video while he said "You will always keep your value."

    ecefwecefw5 दिन पहले
  • This guy is a genius

    Devineee VisionaryDevineee Visionary6 दिन पहले
  • I needed this today. Thanks, Google.

    erratic_calmerratic_calm6 दिन पहले
  • In conclusion: $20 is $20

    Fuji HonjoFuji Honjo6 दिन पहले
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
  • Wonderful public speaking and suberb ending! Will have to use that sometime!!!

    Amen SisterAmen Sister6 दिन पहले
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
  • 9:54 my thoughts exactly

    Joseph MillsJoseph Mills6 दिन पहले
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • Whatzapp ✅

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
  • i showed this to my girlfriend but she took it personally

    logan swartzlogan swartz6 दिन पहले
    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • Whatzapp

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

      Jenifer RyanJenifer Ryan6 दिन पहले
  • We need this sooo much, because people are becoming soo rude, and not gentle

    Abiya FellakAbiya Fellak6 दिन पहले
  • This must be one of the best videos of the year! Impressive, thx

    Abiya FellakAbiya Fellak6 दिन पहले
  • “You will always keep your value”. Wow so powerful!

    ALWestcottALWestcott6 दिन पहले
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    greg boleygreg boley6 दिन पहले
  • This is what should be called motivational video. I loved it

    Fidel LivinoFidel Livino6 दिन पहले
  • Love this

    Milly ThimarasMilly Thimaras6 दिन पहले
  • That! "Wipes tear from eye"

    mosomo17mosomo176 दिन पहले
  • Be honest, open-minded and comunicate is the key of almost social interface problems in some kind of society. (shouldnt generalize things however i am just trying to contrast by using my limited expericence ) :)

    thuy Phamthuy Pham6 दिन पहले
  • Awesome talk!

    Míša DoležalováMíša Doležalová6 दिन पहले
  • Kevin De Bruyne, you are not a referee but a Manchester city player

    Enes MisiniEnes Misini6 दिन पहले
  • Beautiful words 💚

    The Opinionated PugThe Opinionated Pug6 दिन पहले
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    george amaxopoulosgeorge amaxopoulos6 दिन पहले
  • I guess sometimes we take things personally becoz we have this justice mentality, yet we might not know the difference between "true justice" and "perceived justice". In the case of this referee example, he WAS doing the players a "favour" by making sure the game is played according to the rules, rules in which both sides agreed on. But those who want to win without playing by the rules get angry. They simply don't deserve his "favour", or even the right to play. These bad players have a "perceived justice" a.k.a. "u let me win = justice", yet we know "true justice" is when everyone play by the rules fairly and win. So, in conclusion: learn what "true justice" is, don't go and perceive your own version of what justice is, coz "true justice" is / should be appreciated by everyone, even when we are human and sometimes just don't do so.

    birdieculturebirdieculture6 दिन पहले
  • Came here thinking it was Prince Harry talking about dealing with what people are saying about him and Megan.

    EdEd6 दिन पहले
    • @Critter Tales lol

      EdEd3 दिन पहले
    • omg lol

      Piper T. KanariPiper T. Kanari3 दिन पहले
    • I clicked thinking it was Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy in the thumbnail 👀

      Critter TalesCritter Tales4 दिन पहले
  • Thank you so much

    Mónica SalinasMónica Salinas6 दिन पहले
  • Thank you

    D_ MonTequilaD_ MonTequila6 दिन पहले
  • Trump is an orange 🤷🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️

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